'What are you wearing?'

Crane could read those looks without his colleagues even saying a single word. Not that it was hard, really. The professors that he would be working with seemed to believe they were above him in every way possible - position within the school, wealth, intelligence - and they weren't making any effort in concealing it.

Why would they, after all, since he was the one professor on campus. He was the youngest one on the staff, too. He was the one with the well-worn coat that looked too dangly on him. Unlike the others, his clothes were not tailored to fit him just right. The sleeves were too long, the body of the jacket too awkward for his body. It didn't fit him. He didn't fit in.

'What is he wearing...?' they seemed to ask each other as the other professors walked beside the other.

Crane simply continued walking, though. He didn't glare, or shot anything back at them. Not yet. He simply continued walking, trying to not make it obvious how he was discreetly trying to adjust his jacket. The action lasted for a mere second, but he hated himself for it nonetheless.

But he tried not to focus on that. His first class would be starting in a few minutes; he couldn't let those looks distract him right now.

"That's why I write, because life never works except in retrospect. You can't control life, at least you can control your version."

In retrospect I suppose I should want another childhood, yes? A childhood is such an important role, after all; it is the base to how we turn out in life. Maybe I would lead a 'better life' now. Maybe I would 'understand' things the way that common people do. Isn't that the ideal thing? To be...common? Normal?

Maybe I would be a different sort of doctor. Maybe I wouldn't commit the 'injustices' and immoral things I've done. Because, by God, life would be so much better, wouldn't it. I could be part of the herd as others seem to want to be.

Except, I don't. I do not focus on any sort of re-dos, or the possibilities of them. Everything I have done, I don't regret it. To you my life may not seem ideal, and to many it isn't. To me... Well. I don't mind it as much as you think. I don't want to be like the rest of the herd. I'm different. My train of thought is different, and no I do not regret it. I would never want to change it.

What a crazy concept, isn't it?

Pets? Oh, sure. I've had them. More than one, actually, because I have never been content with just one. They tend to get boring and predictable after a while, you see, and since I am rather hard to keep...'entertained,' I prefer to keep a sort of collection.

People don't always seem to understand just how important it is to have pets in your life. You can learn so many things if you truly pay attention and know how to use them to your advantage. You can see their true loyalty. Their strength. Their weaknesses, and if you work on them properly you can make them stronger. Or you can toss them aside, in case they don't become strong enough. Because, let's face it, sometimes that happens. And if that is the case... Well. What is the point of keeping them, taking up space in the world?

So, do I have pets? I do. Is it...'ethical' to have the pets that I do? I have been told no, but it is simply a matter of perspective, I suppose.

[bendy time like whoa; set to when this is known by Jonathan. Which could still be played out but I need something to update TM with so I jumped the gun. :X ]

There are a million and one reasons why Jonathan Crane never expected to be confronted with the thought of You're going to be a father, and the number one of all is that he never wanted to be. Children were problematic, and messy. Sure, you could control them with time, but Crane always had bigger projects to work on. Bigger things to plan.

You're going to be a father

The word 'father' makes his skin crawl as he paces the room he's in, hands in his pockets while his thoughts race through his head faster than he can truly process them. For someone who has always wanted to have things under control, he's sure as hell doing a lousy job. He never expected to become as interested as he did in Harry Osborn, yet he did. He didn't expect Audrey and Isaac to become more than just experiments, but if he's completely honest with himself he's pressed to admit that they're more than experiments, and live proof of what his work can do.

Now there's a baby to take into consideration. A baby that, if allowed to grow, could become another experiment. Another proof of how children could be controlled, and handled properly so that they could grow up to be better human beings. Fearless. Brilliant.

You're going to be a father

Stopping, he takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose with his other hand. As opposed as he had been in the beginning, now that he has considerably calmed down there's other things that keep getting added to his plans. Like conditioning the child so that he or she could achieve their full potential. Starting a new generation - a better generation. Audrey and Isaac are his proof that he can do it, why can't he do it with a child? Their child.

Their heir.

You're going to be a father

For the first time, once the thought crosses his mind he doesn't begin fuming. Instead a shadow of a smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, and he puts his glasses back on.

There's a lot of work to be done.


w.c. 393

Crane is bored.

Bored, bored, bored.

In reality he's stressed. Enough to make him be on edge on constantly, and Audrey and Isaac are well aware of it, but he chalks it up as being bored. After all, he's not going to admit that Harry's presence has such an effect on him. He's never going to say outloud how much his being in Gotham, with his family, makes him stressed. Angry. It makes him miss certain details, like the fact that Audrey has been acting differently herself, and when it finally hits him it just makes him angrier.

The man he's experimenting on probably can't believe that, with everything Crane is putting him through, the doctor seems bored. There's no pleasure, or approving smirk as there usually would be. He's not even observing with as much interest as usual.

Crane just looks bored. Annoyed, even. Usually when he was stressed work was his best solution, and obviously he's doing his best attempt to release that sensation, but now he's not so sure what it is anymore. He takes in the writhing, and the screaming, but there's no release. There's no relief. There's just more annoyance, at himself and at his experiment, and there's more stress.

Leaving the small room where the experiment had been taking place, Crane slams the door shut and makes his way over to his office. Once the door is closed he leans against it and pinches the bridge of his nose, but it doesn't take long for the tension to build up and explode. And as soon as it does, the clipboard that he's holding goes flying and crashing against the wall. When it does there's finally some stress released, and Crane actually chuckles. And laughs.

He just hopes that'll help. That it'll somehow be enough to start going back to normal.

"You were experimenting on human beings?"

Crane refrained from rolling his eyes. Instead he adjusted his glasses and didn't look away from the Dean of Gotham University that couldn't seem to stop pacing. "I was just doing my job."

Those words seemed to be enough for the dean to stop. "Your job? Your job? You are a professor. We trusted you." A beat, and his voice hardened. "I trusted you. I decided to give you a shot, and instead--"

Crane didn't raise his voice. His expression remained neutral, but he did stand up from where he had been sitting. "I was doing my job," he repeated. "I'm a scientist. What I'm doing is revolutionary--"

"No, Jonathan." The dean was so lost in his anger that he didn't catch the way that Crane's eyes flickered with something close to hate at the mention of his name. "What you're doing is wrong. People are not to be used for experiments, do you understand me? It's unethical. You're a doctor and a professor, for God's sake. You've crossed lines that you shouldn't have crossed, and I..." He pursed his lips for a moment, but it wasn't for long. "You should pack your bags. There will be a hearing, but I want you out of this campus before the day is over. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal." There was still no look of anger. Just a ghost of a smirk as he began walking to the door, but once he reached the door Crane stopped as his hand continued holding onto the door knob. "Just one thing, Dean Roberts... Before I leave, I want to give you a small demonstration of my discoveries." His smirk widened just in the slightest, and the small click of the lock turning seemed to echo around the room. "Trust me. The findings are to die for."


w.c. 313

Well isn't this is a stupid question.

For some people, interestingly enough, sometimes simply saying my name is enough. Imagine that - a name being frightening.

It's all the mind, of course, associating words, names and faces to past events. And everyone knows what I am capable of now. Everyone knows what I did, to the patients in Arkham, and then to Gotham itself. It is no secret, and I make no excuses for it. I did what I did for a reason. I do what I do now for a reason as well. If others do not understand it, or do not support it, then that is their problem and not mine.

But I suppose that is steering off subject, hm?

Using fear gas is not the only way I would go about scaring someone. It's an enhancer for it, yes, and it was part of an experiment. Gotham was my experiment, and the people were my test subjects. But using that is not the only way to do it. Other drugs is not the way to install fear in others, either. It's an aid. Something to use, like I said, to enhance the fear. And that fear is always there. Those fears, the ones that people sometimes believe don't exist, are always there. Whether you are conscious of them or not is another story altogether, but they do not just leave because you want them to. They don't cease existing because you don't realize just how controlled they really have you.

If you know me, you know how I would go about scaring someone. It's all in the words. It's all in knowing how to use a person, and how to truly dig into their minds.

Why am I saying this publicly? Because it's no secret. And it's no secret that I'm the best doing what I do. Digging into your fears, finding and exploiting them is what I do.

And no, I make no excuses for that, either. Life itself is an experiment. I am simply more curious, I suppose, and most definitely more ambitious than the rest.

ooc: ...I've got no explanation for this response. >.> I just decided to free write it, and here ya go. Hopefully it makes sense.


Awesome.

Crane cringes at that word.

Not outwardly, exactly, but it still happens. That's a victory in its own, but he doesn't think about it that way. He doesn't let himself think about it at all, but he still cringes every time he hears it. And, quite frankly, it's mind boggling to him that it could be used so much day in and day out.

The word is not linked to some traumatizing childhood memory. Imagining his grandmother using it is almost considered amusing, actually, and maybe that's a reason why he should like it yet he doesn't. He can't.

It's overused, he'd explain if confronted about it. It's pointless. It's stupid. It's a poor excuse for a response, and why anyone would even use it is beyond him.

Of course he won't explain that the person he thinks about when he hears it is Harry Osborn. Because, whenever he'd use it, Crane would notice it more on him than anyone else. He didn't cringe then - the word being used by him always made him notice Harry a little more. He was the rich society boy he wasn't supposed to be with, after all.

Things have changed by now. Their paths have separated, and hearing that word (especially as a response to something) is beyond irritating.

But he won't explain why. He hasn't even admitted it to himself, let alone to others.

Crane has no problem with lying. After all, he has lied in a courtroom full of people, under oath, without even blinking.

Crane has no problem manipulating people to his advantage. Twisting people's minds is his specialty. It's a part of him. It comes so naturally that the majority of the time he doesn't even realize that he's doing it. Not that he minds it, either; after all, he believes, it is a very good talent to have.

Crane has different masks that he presents to people; ways of acting that allow him to become almost another person altogether depending on the 'audience' that he has. Sometimes it's a conscious decision, other times it isn't, but he always uses it to his advantage. If he has something to gain then why not use it?

For years Doctor Jonathan Crane was the best psychiatrist in Arkham Asylum. His practices weren't exactly approved by everybody, but he was good at what he did. All in all, he had been considered a functional member of society, even if behind that facade he presented as the doctor concerned for his patients he was experimenting on them and using them for his tests.

Would Jonathan Crane make a good spy? Of course he would. He knows it. He just wouldn't admit it, because why should he willingly give away that particular secret?


w.c. 227

This thing is pointless.

( ................ )

Happiness is a matter of perspective. That is always the case, but of course society tries to make us believe that there are certain things that we all need in order to qualify for such a goal. Are you successful? Do you have a family? Do you have money? Are you a contributing member of society? Is your family a contributing group in your community?

It's a joke, if you ask me. The guidelines, the norms. The idea of what is normal. What should make you happy. It is all a joke that people are too foolish to not fall into, and when they realize what a farce it is it's then too late.

So, like I said. Happiness, and "happy endings" vary per person. And depending on how attainable that goal is, then I guess that depends on how much you are willing to believe and let it "grow on you."

I, for one, am very driven. And while my "happy ending" may not be what one would consider as...usual, I believe it is quite attainable.

Just you wait and see.

word count: 182

Smells are always the first things that Crane remembers more than any other detail. Those are the ones that come before any other details. They are the ones he can't truly get away from. The ones he can sometimes smell even if it would be considered impossible

It's the smell of jasmine what he first remembers when it comes to his grandmother.

It's the smell of gin what he remembers, when it comes to the night he "met" his mother.

It's the smell of grease and cigarettes what he remembers of the days after the fear toxins were released, and when he had to hide so the authorities wouldn't send him straight back to Arkham.

It's Harry's cologne. It's Audrey's shampoo. It's Isaac's scent.

To some they may not qualify as memories. To Crane, sometimes they are bigger and stronger than any of the other memories that he can ever think of.

word count: 152

I'm missing an OOC icon for this, but um yeah. >.>

Okay here is the deal. I appreciate the thought and sentiment behind the love meme. I think it's awesome, but I don't feel comfortable doing it the way it's being done because I interact with a lot of people and I'd end up leaving someone out. So, if you want to know what I love about your muse and/or you as a writer comment here and I will let you know.

ooc note: mix of meta/in-game. ... yeah.

If you could be in the Olympics (summer or winter), what event/sport would you want to do most? Why?

........

What kind of question is this? Do I look like the type that would even consider watching even part of the Olympics, let alone be a part of it? There are no sports that interest me. I am not exactly what one would even consider a team player, am I.

Though, I have to admit, if I really had to be there for anything at all, I would choose to simply study some of the people there. It could be interesting, who knows. I would toy with their minds rather than actually play a game, however. The spectators, the players, the organizers; anyone. Insecurities and nervousness are so at hand at events like these, aren't they? Unless that can be considered a game, then I would have to change my mind about the whole event entirely. I would even think about joining, and I would take the gold. No toxins required. If they were, though, it could be even more fun.

[firmly locked from everyone]

...

Fencing.

If I had to choose something... I would probably choose fencing.


175 words

So, this is a 'where my boy stands in the timelines' post that I should have already done. ;)

( Cut for spoilers for The Dark Knight )

Prosecutors knew what it meant to have Dr. Crane walk out of the elevator and walk towards the holding cells where the prisoners were kept until they were moved to County. It was almost routine, it felt like; if someone was caught and taken into custody, someone with enough leverage, the first person they thought of calling was Dr. Crane. Not lawyers. Not mob bosses that could bail them out. Crane would get them out on an easy insanity plea, they'd think without knowing to what lengths he would go so that his prognosis could look believable.

Keeping his annoyance from showing at being pulled away yet again from working on his formula back in his lab, Crane walked into the holding cell where the new prisoner had been taken in. He could feel the glares from the lawyers and police men as he walked past them, he could see the smug smirks on some of them as they lifted their chins, as if daring him to prove that the person in custody really was insane, but Crane didn't say a word. Just a small nod of the head in greeting before he went in to see his new patient.

It never took long for voices to be heard, after his walking in. It never took long for the screaming to start. And it certainly never took long for those smug smirks to be wiped away into a look of infuriated helplessness once Crane emerged from the holding cell as he barely managed to contain a smug smirk of his own.

"I'm afraid I'm going to need to move him to Arkham for treatment," he announced as he adjusted his tie before adjusting his glasses. "He meets the criteria for the insanity plea."


w.c. 294

Not a lot of people understand Crane's work. Not that he's surprised; after all, not everyone is capable of wrapping their minds around his ideas. He's used to this, in a way. People are afraid of what they cannot comprehend. They are hesitant about supporting it; they are timid from approaching it; they frown upon it.

Illegal.

Immoral.

Unethical.

He has heard every word imaginable, reproaching him for his experiments and his views. "People aren't lab rats," he remembers someone in Gotham University saying, "you can't just use them in the way you're doing."

But they're wrong, of course. They have all been wrong. Just because they cannot understand it, just because they are afraid, it doesn't mean that he's going to stop. And just because they can't understand it, just because his teaching position had been stripped away and his medical license has been revoked, it doesn't mean that he'll simply stop doing his work. It's a service for mankind, what he's doing. People don't understand. They simply don't try to.

Except for two.

Audrey and Isaac are smart enough to understand him. They are smart enough to work for him. Crane is used to working alone, but Audrey and Isaac are different. They always had been, and that is why Crane had taken the opportunity to bring them with him.

One day they would open the world's eyes and minds. Everyone will see just how wrong they had been to try and stop Dr. Jonathan Crane.